Addiction & Recovery

1. What is Addiction?

Most people characterize addictions as having symptoms like: physical cravings, loss of control, excessive use, daily use, etc. These, and more, are true in the advanced stages of addictions. However, addiction begins much earlier than those symptoms.

Contrary to popular belief, psychological addiction occurs long before physical addiction. Some of the best definitions of addiction I have seen are: If a person has a problem from their addictive activity (alcohol use, gambling, etc.) and the person continues to use, resulting in another problem and they continue to use, then the person is addicted; Another definition I like is that addiction is a massive spiritual attack which drives the person away from everything that is good (their relationship with God, their mate, their family, their values, work, health, etc.).

2. Types of Addiction

Most people have heard of various drug addictions, including alcoholism, and gambling addictions. However, there are many more addictions. Some of the most common addictions are: Food, work, sexual compulsions (porn, cybersexual, fetishes, masterbation, affairs, etc.), videogames, exercise, etc. Although the "highs", symptoms, and consequences of each addiction vary, they all follow the same steps of developing into an addiction.

3. How does a Person Become Addicted?

No one intends to become an addict. Even those who were raised by an addicted parent usually vow never to become like that parent. However, the main factors which contribute to developing an addiction are: Genetics; Family of Origin/Caretakers and other Childhood Experiences; Cultural Influences; and Personal Choices. What most people don't realize is the progression of stages which occur from the combination of the four contributing factors above. Furthermore, most people compare their style of behaviors (drinking alcohol, gambling, etc.) to the advanced stage of addiction (heavy and frequent use) and conclude that if they aren't the same, then their current use is alright. However, they may me unaware or in denial of the degree of addiction they have already developed. For example, they may not realize how much the do the addictive activity (drink alcohol, gamble, etc.) for deep emotional reasons. Thus, they are becoming psychologically dependent on the addictive activity.

For more information on this topic, please email me for my article, "Stages of Addiction." In this article I describe six stages of addiction.

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4. How to help the Addicted Person to Recover:

If you are concerned about a person who may be addicted person, showing caring without anger, criticism, or blame is mandatory. In showing your caring, you'll need to list the facts of events which concern you about the person's addictive activities and consequences (DUI, blackout, missing work, broken promises, etc.). If the person of concern rejects or minimizes the facts and you notice the problem continuing, please email or call me for more information.

5. How does a Person Recover from an Addiction?

In the beginning, nearly everyone with an addiction has a mixture of many intense reactions. These reactions range from wanting to control their use (so they can be a normal user), to fear of stopping, anger and feeling persecuted, to knowing that they "have to quit" (but also not wanting to quit). The addicted person often assumes that all they need to do is "just quit" using/doing the addictive activities (alcohol, gambling, porn, etc.) and that they need no help. Thus, they refuse counseling, 12-Step meetings, or other help. Unfortunately, this results in only temporary abstinance, no growth, likely switching to another addictive activity ("I won't use drugs anymore, I'll just smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol."), or relapse to their addiction.

The addicted person does not realize the changes which are required to develop a lasting high quality recovery (which minimizes relapse possibilities). These changes include psychological (values, beliefs, patterns, etc.), relationships, and lifestyle changes. Thus the person in early stages of recovery needs guides (a professional counselor and a 12-step sponsor) to help the person complete the many growth steps and avoid the most common errors (which lead to relapse).

One of the main reasons the addicted often refuses help is the shame they feel and the mistrust of others. This is often expressed in the phrase, "My problems are no one else's business." Unfortunately, not allowing help significantly handicaps the person in learning how to resolve the underlying issues of the addiction. These underlying issues are the roots feeding the addiction, results in relapses.

The recoverying person needs to slowly accept their addiction by learning about the impacts of the addiction on their life (which includes 8 major areas of their life). Please call or email for more information if you like. This process helps the person work through various forms of denial and developing a deep acceptance of the addiction. This process of developing a true acceptance of the addiction usually takes several months of professional counseling and 12-Step meetings.

The addicted person will go through several stages of recovery. NOTE: This section will be continued soon. So please email or call me if you want more info. immediately.

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4. How to help the Addicted Person to Recover:

5. How does a Person Recover from an Addiction?

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